


Welcome to the present day and age, where everything is complicated and nothing makes sense. (You'll love it).

by Shamelessly_Radiant



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is done, Arthur just wants an excuse to be able to kiss Merlin, M/M, Merlin educates Arthur about sexuality, Merlin is endlessly patient, On the troubles of getting adjusted to the twenty-first century when you come back from the dead, Rated T for a bit of cursing and mentions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 17:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21480205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamelessly_Radiant/pseuds/Shamelessly_Radiant
Summary: Merlin had, of course, carefully evaluated how he should explain the fact that kingdoms weren’t really a thing anymore, and that Camelot, uh, didn’t quite exist anymore, and he was fully prepared to answer questions about cars and lifts and cell phones and the likes, but he hadn’t even paused on the concept of sexuality.Suffice to say he hadn’t at all anticipated the question “What is… gay?” and the can of worms thatthatwould uncover.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 572





	Welcome to the present day and age, where everything is complicated and nothing makes sense. (You'll love it).

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Your Warming Smile](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20103199) by [elysiumwaits](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysiumwaits/pseuds/elysiumwaits). 

> Hi! For all history knowing people here, I'm disregarding history as much as they did in the show, which is to say, completely. I did look up homosexuality, and was half-down the wikipedia page before I decided that I just wanted to write something fun and silly and fluffy and not worry too much about the details. I didn't really go into detail, but it is quite possible that I might have mentioned something that isn't completely correct. As to the show, there too, as I technically haven't yet seen it completely, but have been bombarded by spoilers because, yes, I chose to watch a show a decade after it ended (or began? I forget). I didn't want to read the whole Merlin wiki page to save myself from even more spoilers, but as I didn't really refer extensively to canon events, I doubt that will be a problem.
> 
> That said, enjoy! And spread the love!

Getting Arthur acquainted with the twenty-first century… turned out to be more challenging than Merlin had expected. It was a bit like teaching a toddler how to eat with a spoon. Messy and frustrating but eventually advantageous to all parties involved. And really, Arthur had never been particularly stupid or dim-witted, just- very unobservant, so he picked up many things from observation alone. Add to that the vast information source that was the internet, YouTube tutorials and helpful wikiHow pages and Merlin’s job was nearly done—

Except for the _endless amount of questions._

In that regard too, Arthur was rather like a toddler. Asking _why _and _what’s that _and often pointing when he saw something particularly shiny or exciting. The problem was, that Arthur was clearly a fully-grown man, and some people took offence to being pointed at. Many, it turned out, also took offence to threats of being put into stocks or thrown in the dungeon by a slightly crazed man, especially if that man first insisted on a duel to restore his honour. Merlin’s magic and quick wits had saved them from a rather dire situation then, and while he had definitely chosen the lesser of two evils, the argument that followed that had been full-blown and _ugly_, as Arthur had suddenly remembered that Merlin possessed magic, and that therefore Merlin had betrayed him and lied to him for a decade. However, after a week of a mix of grovelling and rightful anger and _Magic was literally punishable by **death**, you clotpole! _Arthur had deigned to forgive him and had been rather amazed at the fact that Merlin had forgiven him too, but more because he believed there wasn’t anything he needed to be forgiven for. As stated above, however, Arthur was intelligent enough to realise that pressing that particular issue might have resulted in another long-lasting row, and he was quite aware of how much he depended on Merlin’s guidance for his continued survival and thriving in the crazy world he had found himself, so he wisely held his tongue.

Now, Arthur was learning, and he was learning _fast. _But the twenty-first century turned out to be alien in many, many ways, some that Merlin hadn’t been able to predict. He had, of course, carefully evaluated how he should explain the fact that kingdoms weren’t really a thing anymore, and that Camelot, uh, didn’t quite exist anymore, and he was fully prepared to answer questions about cars and lifts and cell phones and the likes, but he hadn’t even paused on the concept of _sexuality._

“Huh! People are certainly much more affectionate now than they were in our times!” Arthur had exclaimed, pointing – _pointing, _sigh, at two men who had been walking hand in hand in Oxford street as they did their Christmas shopping and Merlin had distractedly and amused responded “What? No, Arthur, they’re probably gay. Stop pointing and drink your hot chocolate.”

Suffice to say he hadn’t at all anticipated the question “What is… _gay?_” and the can of worms that _that _would uncover.

** _._ **

Arthur’s mind had been _reeling _the whole way home. “But these— these gays and these lesbians, how do they _procreate?_” he was so preoccupied with this question and with Merlin’s explanation that love didn’t necessarily involve a man and a woman that he couldn’t even muster up some amusement as he watched Merlin splutter and almost spit out his drink.

Merlin set down his cup rather deliberately and leaned his chin on crossed hands, looking steadfastly at Arthur all the while.

“Well,” he started after a minute or two and it became clear that Arthur’s question was completely genuine, “it is true that they can’t… _conceive _biologically. But that doesn’t mean that they can, you know,” he waved his hand, “have sex.”

“But what about heirs?”

“Heirs aren’t really that important anymore, at least, not for people who are well off and certain that they’ll have proper care when they’re older. It is probably different if matters of succession are involved, but nowadays a lot of people _chose _not to have children. And if a homosexual couple wants kids, they can always adopt. God knows that there are many children in needs of better homes.”

“But… how do they have sex? With, you know, two… _equal things_,” Arthur was equally mortified as he was genuinely curious. He couldn’t imagine… that.

Merlin cleared his throat, looking even more mortified than Arthur felt. “Well, uh, some people are not that interested in sex, you know. Ace people— asexual people, or sex-repulsed people. But if those couples do want to have sex, there certainly are… _ways._” Merlin’s face screamed _please don’t ask me how_, eyes all shifty and cheeks red so of course Arthur had to ask, “but _how_?”

“Uh, well, there are… toys. And ugh, women can rub their, you know, parts together or uh, use their mouths and fingers and stuff. Same thing for men, plus, you know, men have a… a _hole_, too.”

“Men have a—” Arthur’s mouth snapped shut as he dropped his fork and it clattered loudly to the table. It was his turn to blush and look away.

He didn’t ask any more questions about that particular subject.

** _._ **

“So, when did they invent this, different sexualities thing?” he asked, some weeks later, and Merlin made the mental note to just put Arthur in front of the Wikipedia screen when they got home. As it was, he thanked whatever deity that the Chinese restaurant they had gone to for lunch was virtually empty. He hoped his gratefulness would not vanish when their food arrived. On second thought, maybe they should've chosen a restaurant that had at least a _couple _of people in it.

“Nobody _invented _it, Arthur, it has always been around. It isn’t really something people can choose. It’s just something that western society hasn’t always been that accepting off.”

“Oh,” Arthur mumbled, fiddling with his napkin. “But if people talked about it…” but he himself didn’t sound too convinced.

“When it was punishable by death?” Merlin shot him a flat look. “Arthur, people have been persecuted for this much like your father persecuted those with magic in Camelot, only on a much, much bigger scale. People have been put to death systematically for being who they were or for what they believed in, without a single exception.”

Arthur could feel his face go more and more ashen as Merlin told him about the concentration camps in the second war, citing that as just one of many, many examples of genocides.

“But that’s horrible!”

“Yeah, well,” and in Merlin’s eyes Arthur could suddenly see the thousands of years he had lived, the evils he had seen. In the slump of his shoulders Arthur could see the weight of them, how he carried it with him, always, “that’s humanity for you.”

Their meals arrived, and they ate in silence, until Arthur dared ask, “What about you?”

“What about me?” Merlin said, meeting his eyes, and Arthur knew, that Merlin was too good of a person to ever decide to systematically kill of a whole group of people, especially after he himself had lived in fear for almost all of Arthur’s life, but he did wonder if Merlin accepted them.

“Do you… accept them all?”

Merlin smiled. It was a small, bittersweet thing. “Yeah,” he breathed, “I find love is already complicated enough without begrudging people whom they love. If people love, let them love. It is a scarce and precious good in this world, wouldn’t you agree?”

And Arthur, for all that the concept was so new to him and he had difficulty wrapping his head around it, couldn’t help but agree wholeheartedly, especially with the way Merlin’s smile grew and brightened and threw Arthur of guard with its loveliness.

** _._ **

“So, are you?” Arthur’s disembodied voice surprised him a few days later, just after he had shoved his head into the refrigerator to eat the leftover grilled chicken from the day before. Hey, don’t judge him, it was one of _those _days_._

Arthur for all he had evolved and learned, didn’t really understand the concept of working for a living yet, and Merlin, for all he had magic and been able to save up a small fortune in all the years he had lived, still liked to keep busy and try to change the world for the better. He was sappy that way, and he allowed himself to be, as he was technically a thousand years old. The problem was; the world often resisted change for the better, especially greedy middle aged men who made fortunes exploiting the poor, and Merlin had had to deal with too many such bulshit that day– hence, the chicken.

“miwhat?” Merlin asked through a mouthful of chicken, and then paused, swallowed and extricated his head from the fridge to find Arthur leaning against the kitchen counter, _shirtless. _God have mercy on him, it was a long time he had seen him that way and he was still equally fit even though, to Merlin’s knowledge, there was no more training or sword waving for three hours each day. He made a mental note to investigate that later. “Am I what?” he repeated.

“Are you,” Arthur waved his hand, as though it was obvious, which it very much _wasn’t-_ and after a beat his eyes narrowed at Merlin’s incomprehensibility. Good to see some things never changed. “Gay, you idiot.”

“Oh!” Merlin laughed, “no.”

“Oh,” Arthur echoed, and as Merlin had turned back to the chicken, he didn’t see the flash of disappointment crossing over Arthur’s face.

** _._ **

Arthur was… _confused. _All that talk about sexuality and attraction and love had left him less and less sure of whom or what he was. Before, he had been perfectly content to believe he had had a few close male friends, and a beautiful wife he had loved. Because he _had _loved Guinevere. Whyever else would he have married a servant girl than for love?

But… privately he had come to the conclusion that he _possibly _might have had certain… _feelings_ for his former manservant. No one had ever been able to get quite under Arthur’s skin as Merlin had, make him laugh as Merlin had, make him question his beliefs as Merlin had- with the exception of possibly Morgana, but that had been _before _and a fact Arthur didn't like to dwell on too closely-, make him smile on a bad day as Merlin had. In the past, long, long ago, he had shoved these feelings aside. It wasn’t _natural _for a man to love a man, it wasn’t possible, and so it was not to be. Whenever he had found himself looking to closely, he had concluded that he was possibly confused, certainly lonely, and that what he felt was nothing more than affection for a good friend. Yet now he knew better. However, it seemed Merlin was straight. Which confused Arthur, because Merlin had sacrificed so much for him, mourned him so deeply, been so present in his life, that he had thought that _maybe— _but no, now he remembered how Merlin had teased him about Sophia, encouraged him about Gwen… maybe for Merlin he was just a close friend, indeed. Yet, he could have sworn Merlin’s gaze had lingered on his chest longer than strictly necessary the other evening in the kitchen…

Arthur was confused, and not a little aggravated.

And so, when Merlin walked in and found Arthur using the punching bag vigorously, it only took a little teasing remark for Arthur to explode and wail _that he didn’t understand a single thing._

“Woah,” Merlin backed away, hands raised but smiling, and Arthur thought that he must have made a pathetic sight; whiny, sweaty and petulant. “What’s the matter?”

“However are you supposed to properly _court _people in this present day and age?” Arthur asked indignantly. “How am I supposed to know if they’re straight or gay or ace or whatever? What if I make a mistake, and they get offended? And, how do I get a hold of their parents to ask their permission? How do I get a servant to bring them flowers? Why is it so bloody hard now?”

Merlin, the _bastard_, had the nerve to burst out laughing at Arthur’s very serious situation.

“Merlin!” he snapped, infusing all the _I-am-the-King-and-you-are-less-than-the-mud-on-my-leather-boots _tone, which infuriatingly, did nothing but incite Merlin more, quite possibly because A) Arthur wasn’t the king anymore, and B) Merlin was no less than bloody Emrys himself, the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth. Well. Arthur hadn’t quite thought that one through.

Which begged the question… “If you were so powerful, why did you become my servant? You could have crushed me and my father under your little pinkie if you’d wished it so.”

Merlin was looking at him with a soft, curious expression. “Which questions do you want me to answer first?”

“All of them,” Arthur grumbled. Merlin looked so fond and nice Arthur was having quite the trouble restraining himself and resisting going over to the door to kiss him.

Maybe some of that showed on his face, because the next instant, Merlin’s expression changed, his eyes going alert and his posture straightening as he looked at Arthur consideringly. “About why I stayed by your side… I said it once, already, though not to you. I’d rather serve a good man than rule with an evil one. Or become an evil one.” Arthur had to look away to hide how touched he was by the sentiment. He was an adult man, for god’s sake. _Mer_lin was the girl! He looked back up as Merlin continued, giving no sign he had noticed Arthur getting emotional but for the faint amused look in his eyes. “Though I do have to admit I thought you were a prat, at first. Kilgharrah had quite some trouble convincing me. Actually, he didn’t really convince me, you did. He was just— aggravating and annoying.”

"Kilgharrah?"

"The dragon," Merlin replied distractedly.

Dragon? What dragon? But Merlin was continuing, and Arthur found out he was far more invested in the current topic. He’d ask about the dragon later. Probably. If he didn’t forget and get distracted by something far more pressing. Ugh, the twenty-first century was _hard._

“About the ‘not knowing’ part, you could always just— ask. People usually appreciate it, and if they get offended, it often is for the wrong reasons. And the clichés usually don’t apply.”

“But what if… what if you asked, and you didn’t like their response?”

Merlin shrugged. “Then you accept it and move on. But,” and here he crossed the room to where Arthur stood, stopping just short of him, their toes almost touching, “I somehow get the impression that you haven’t quite asked, Arthur.”

“I—” Arthur was having a hard time focussing, with Merlin so close. His open, earnest expression gave Arthur the courage he was looking for “I asked you if you were gay, and you said no.”

“I did.” Merlin said, breath ghosting over his lips.

“So that means you’re straight,” said Arthur.

“No.”

“No?” Arthur scrunched up his face.

“I’m bi.”

“You’re what now? Bi? There’s bi? What the hell is bi?” he exploded.

“Er, well. “said Merlin.

“Do you mean to tell me, that I’ve been preoccupied all this time over absolutely nothing? Merlin, you idiot!”

“Hey!” Merlin exclaimed. Or tried to, because his lips were suddenly quite occupied with kissing Arthur.

“Merlin.” Arthur said.

“Yes?” Merlin asked, kissing down Arthur’s neck.

“I think I—oh, god, do _that _again. I think I might be bi, too.”

“That’s grand. Glorious. Perfect. Wonderful. Welcome in the twenty-first century. Do you want to shut up and celebrate?”

And Arthur found that, on this particular instance, he didn’t mind being told to shut up not one bit. No, sir. Not one bit at all.

**Author's Note:**

> And Merlin continues his quest to educate Arthur with a more, uh, hands-on approach. (And Arthur may or may not extract his revenge later).  
Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this little, silly thing :)  
Oh! And the toddler & spoon comparison was borrowed from elysiumwaits' lovely story 'Your Warming Smile'. Actually, I'm putting that thing up as inspiration, because on consideration this has quite the same groove.


End file.
